Our Family FB Decisions

[TrueConvert]

Hey Fam!!
I know we've had threads similar to this in the past, and I don't wish to rehash necessarily
Just wanted to let you all know that my wife and I are back on Facebook as some of you know already. Now,
it took us a loooooong time to decide that there were some valid reasons to be on Facebook, but we also wanted to avoid some of the pitfalls that could occur. Some of you may be unfamiliar w/ said pitfalls but there are many in the realm of social media. Anyway, one of the things my wife and I did was to create mutually agreeable boundaries to who we would "friend" on Facebook. This because as you know when you arrive to the FB club, everyone and their cuzzin from your past (and sometimes present lol) seems to find you and "friend" you. That's not always wisdom in a marriage context (or single really), and we know that to be true for us. Sooooooo, we said that we would only friend same sex folks UNLESS they were A. Family, or B. Mutual friends of ours.
We kept it just that simple. Now what this means is that there are MANY good folks who we may not have any problem with, but we simply would not friend because these are our boundaries. As you know, when there is a vision it allows you to say "no" to really good ideas because they don't fit into that particular vision. We see these 2 boundaries as a part of the vision for our family. What this has meant is that some folks have tried to friend me on Facebook, and I've not responded. Some of you may be here. I just wanted to let you all know that it is absolutely not personal if you are a female and I don't respond to your friend request. This is just how me and mine have chosen to roll w/ regard to Facebook. I wanted to clear that up so that no misunderstandings spring from my non contact. We realize that some may not understand our stance regarding this, and that's cool. We know Facebook rules are not the Gospel I hope those who have reached out to me (or my wife for that matter) understand. Grace and Peace.

[eve]

excellent. looks like a "boundaries in marriage" issue. is there any possible way to make such decisions on the front end to avoid, say, the enemy sending the attractive ex-girlfriend to "friend you" precisely at the time you and your wife are hating on each other? or vice versa? (we all know the devil is a notorious coward). how do married folks (not just dajuan and misha) catch stuff on the front end? just a question of interest, realizing, gosh, so much work seems to go into the family thing.

thanks!

[G.R.A.C.E. Preecha]

Love this thread.

Sounds like wisdom to me, Dejuan.

We (married folk) catch stuff on the front end while we're still single (if ur ahead of the game and have a good couple, pastor or someone mentoring you). I started cutting back/out random exes and helicopter chicks over the 4-6 years before I got married. In the past, I've made bad relationship choices (SIN) with regard to who I dated and how I conducted the relationships. I learned (the hard way) that even during your single stage, it's important that you take all possible competitors for your affections, time and attention (over and against your spouse) out of the picture as early as possible.

[btate0121]

wordemup bro!

Tarren and I have a similar approach. Mostly we just have blood relatives, mutual friends and the like. however we're starting to trim the friends list to exclude "on line" friends that we don't fellowship with regularly or just people we don't really know. Seriously... if I spent time going thru my list i'd bump into more than a few "where do i know you from!?" guys and gals. Much prayer and consideration going into that one.. because people do get offended. But hey... iiwii ya know?